A Hysterectomy at 24
I always thought I would have three children.
Growing up, if you asked me, even at the early age of 5, I would tell you I would have three babies. It was a dream. I wanted to grow up to be a momma and that isn’t always looked at as a positive or even a job.
Here I am. Young, a mom of two precious girls. But I have always felt like someone was missing: my third baby.
Before we had Elliot, I had two miscarriages. I knew from the get-go that I would struggle to have children. I have suffered since the age of 14 with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). As I got older, I started to have issues with Endometriosis. After losing two babies, I felt so much anger and confusion. I never understood why God would give me the desire to be a mother, if His plan was for me to never have children.
I was told by multiple doctors that I wouldn’t be able to carry full term. And after our two losses, I questioned my heart and wondered if the doctors were right. Then we got pregnant with Elliot. We waited. We had learned not to share as much, as quickly, because we hurt every time we had to explain why there was no baby following the announcement. Once I reached 20 weeks, I felt safe enough to share that we were expecting. It was a high risk pregnancy and I had regularly scheduled appointments and ultrasounds. On August 6, 2015, we welcomed Elliot Rea. She was perfect. But I was told after a dangerous and horrific labor and delivery that I would probably not have another baby.
We decided after Elliot, we wanted a second child and chose to let go and let God. If we were gifted with another baby, then we would know it was God’s plan. We found out we were pregnant again early June 2016. We waited until after Elliot’s 1st Birthday, in August, to announce our pregnancy and that it was another girl. On January 7, 2017 Emery Jane was born. It was an amazing and happy birthing experience.
Since Emery was born I have struggled emotionally. I want another baby so badly, but my husband is happy with our two. I am happy too, don’t get me wrong, but there is a lingering empty feeling in my heart. The yearning for another baby. I have also been in extreme pain this past year. The Endo + PCOS pain is worse than ever before and it is very limiting. Before we go on, let’s fill in some blanks.
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When we were living in Tampa, 2018, we found out my mother had cancer again. For the third time. This time it was breast cancer. I remember that lost feeling, being far away and not being of much help. Other than the emotional help I could offer. I remember crying and my mom being the one to console ME. She is the strongest person I know, physically and emotionally. All I could think about was losing my best friend. The scars. Treatments. This time was different. Mom found out she carries a gene mutation called the BRCA mutation and that is one of the reason she has had cancer multiple times. She urged me and my younger brother to have genetic testing done to find out if we carried the mutation as well. I wasn’t surprised when my test came back positive. This led to me visiting with a counselor, talking about what the mutation is and what all comes with knowing this new information.
If you aren’t familiar with the BRCA gene, let me tell you about it. “Every human has both the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. However, in some people these tumor suppression genes do not work properly. When a gene becomes altered or broken, it doesn’t function correctly. This is called a gene mutation. A small percentage of people (about one in 400, or 0.25% of the population) carry mutated BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes. A BRCA mutation occurs when the DNA that makes up the gene becomes damaged in some way.
When a BRCA gene is mutated, it may no longer be effective at repairing broken DNA and helping to prevent cancer. Because of this, people with a BRCA gene mutation are more likely to develop breast cancer, and more likely to develop cancer at a younger age.” If you google the statistics for this mutation, it can be rather scary. And with knowing this information, you have to make decisions that you never thought you would make.
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For the last few months, I have been visiting the OBGYN every two-three weeks. I have been in pain, where I can’t get out of bed. That really isn’t an option when you have two young children. My endometriosis is progressing and the cysts have been so large they are engulfing the entire ovary. I was told I would have to have two or more surgeries. Yet again, another laparoscopy and a Endometrial ablation (where you burn the walls inside of the uterus). Knowing the information above about he BRCA mutation, I had obviously talked with the genetic counselor about having a hysterectomy and double mastectomy. Rather than performing multiple surgeries that could possibly have to reoccur, my doctor agreed that the best decision would be to have just one surgery - the hysterectomy. That would remove both issues that I have dealt with for most of my life and remove the opportunity for cancer in those areas.
So, at the age of 24 I am preparing to have hysterectomy. And in the months to come, a double mastectomy. Emotionally, I am struggling. The dream of having a third pregnancy and third baby, is coming to a definite end. Learning to be understanding and focus on the positives is hard. I do know that I am greatly blessed and I love my family. I just have to learn to accept that this is what’s best for me right now. And who knows, maybe we will adopt in the future.
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Before learning of this mutation, I had never thought to have genetic testing done. But now I believe it is so important. Knowing your family health history is a big deal; in the end it can save your life depending on your situation. By doing this surgery I am trying to take back some control. I have alway struggled with worry, anxiety, and over thinking. By having the choice of these surgeries, as a preventative, I have a less worry. I want to be around for my children, I want to watch them grow, go to college/or not, get married, have babies, everything. I have seen cancer take people I love and hurt my mom multiple times, so if I have the opportunity to prevent my babies from experiencing that pain when it comes to their mom, by all means I will do what I can. I encourage you to look into your family history or genetic testing.
As I prepare for my surgery in two days, I hope to go into it with a clear mind and peaceful heart. Though this is not what I truly want, this is what’s best for me. And I have to keep that in mind.
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My good friend Shelby created a meal train link for me and if you feel inclined to help in any way (playing with the girls or bringing food) it would mean so much to us, as I will be on bed rest for a few days and not allowed to drive for 2 weeks.
https://www.TakeThemAMeal.com/NUCV7141
Xoxo
Mel